Cold Shoulder

April 22, 2014 25

Our Golden Age of Ass and Pins has already written itself into class history books as a sartorial disaster of the generation, and nothing more.


As far as my wardrobe is concerned, the days of bare knees and Legs Eleven are numbered, and for the coming Winter months, don’t even think about it. For the girls I’ve seen out around the world in the dead of a Saturday night snow globe, thunder storm, or other such Snuggie®-inducing conditions, falling out of cabs in no less than open-toed heels and mini skirts, this is for you: our Golden Age of Ass and Pins has already written itself into class history books as a sartorial disaster of the generation, and nothing more.*

We’ve migrated north to the Cold Shoulder.

Keep up, people.

Allow me:

I’m sure there has been some entertainment great, aside from Justin Timberlake (though surely, he would be authority enough), who has referenced the overriding sexiness of a woman’s back. This, I will preach over boobs and booty any day. However, where the wider majority of us don’t have the forum pleasures of sporting a backless flatterer each and every day, shoulders and collarbones are the next best reference to shoulder-blades and backbones.

Our beloved innerwear as outerwear trend, so readily embraced by my fellow flat-chested comrades, has already done some of the work for us, with every mutation of that rascal, The Slip, available in all varieties of colours, textures, lengths, and degrees of chest exposure. I personally find the slip top far more versatile, in my preference for layering as many bottoms and coats as possible, though I’ll agree that here, I could have gone a size down on my favourite silver-grey affair. To distract from potential Flash City during this Fashion Week just past, I opted for rather aggressive a Boob Shield, as eloquently expressed by Sophie and Tania, a skirt so confusing, lips so bright, and boots so high, that the chest would be the last point of eye-contact if at all.

Certainly, the viewer would be quite underwhelmed in my instance. Flat as a board, this one.




But I suppose, that’s another womanly strategy altogether.

For now, it’s pretty clear that the shoulder comes out on top, albeit a little chilly, in some vague reference to Audrey, or Grace Kelly, or Marilyn, or Elizabeth Taylor, or something.

And after all that, you could argue that the real formula is to dress like a Baby Boomer with just one outrageous Generation Y element.

Or that there’s no formula at all.

Or perhaps I’ve gotten too old too quickly. I’m the first to admit that I’m an 80-year-old at heart – I much prefer experimenting with weird pasta recipes to getting loopy between strobe lights (though, this is not to say that I’m not partial to the odd shake-shake-shake). I will also admit that I wore high-necked, knee-length, t-shirt dress with a shirt around my waist and closed shoes to Future Music Festival, and, had I not felt so ostracised by my apparently anomalous coverage, I would have been telling half naked left, right, and centre to put some pants on.

Meanwhile, Pharrell was great.

But I digress.

Proceed as you will.

*though I do make an exception for a midi-length, so long as shoulders are well covered.

ASOS Oversized Wrap Front Coat – TOPSHOP Silk CamiClover Canyon Collage Print A-Line Skirt – Love & Object Lion Clutch – Stuart Weitzman Highland Boots – MAC X Proenza Schouler Lipstick

shot by Sophie Learmont

  • Beautiful! Perfection from top to bottom.

  • That red lip looks really good on you! and I think the lion clutch is super cool. Perhaps leather boots would also look good for this outfit? :)

  • this coat and shoes ??? perfect match

  • These photos are amazing. You look great and so beautiful!

  • That comment about a board, I can relate, left me giggling to myself. xD

  • Love the coat and the skirt! You look great in red lips<3

  • Thank you for being proud of whatever you have, especially having a flat chest. I love how you own it! Such a great role model and inspiration to girls everywhere. Just thank you, thank you for existing.

  • Ana

    Oh my you made me chuckle. I can relate to everything you are saying, especially living in Ireland… Where, despite the weather, mini skirts and plunging necklines are the uniform on a Saturday night. Being an ironing board myself, I always opt for backless outfits. I feel though camis and oversized coats are super sexy too… I might embrace it more.

    Thanks for the inspiration and you look gorgeous.

    Ana x

  • Love the way you draped the coat. It’s so chic. And take fashion to the next level. It’s an art!


  • monkeyshines
  • LOVE that this print is based on an architectural floor plan… so very up our architecture-meets-fashion-loving alley

  • Joe Beverly

    Certainly, the viewer would be quite underwhelmed in my instance.

    Not this viewer. Less is more, from my perspective . . .

  • fashion altitude

    Feeling confident about oneself is the main point. Loving oneself the way we are, physically and otherwise is the key and path to happiness and …beauty;-). xo

  • It’s so weird that winter is coming for you when spring is just hitting the US!! Although it is nice to see summer outfits from you when I’m freezing in the cold over the winter. :P

  • Jas

    amazing post! you are so gorgeous

  • Great outfit! Love the lion clutch!

  • Malena

    That skirt has an amazing print. You look super elegant and sophisticated!

    X Malena

  • beth

    I totally remember the Future Music conversation when you told it to us at The Fashion Institute! I could not agree more. This post is beyond good. And you look stunning as always.

  • Avanti

    Love the coat! I love the way long coats look but I’m afraid it will emphasise my fairly short stature. Should man up and give it a go one day


  • Chelsea Dunstan

    that red lip is great on you! And just bought the coat. Looks way better open than buttoned up on the model! X

  • Chanty

    Love your entire look! :) I think you’re the only one who can make that whole ensemble look so chic and fabulous! :)

    Noted on the cold shoulder, ass and pins are passé. Touché! Love your blog! Amazing photos!

  • Lucy Mitchell

    I love that skirt so much. Such a nice print :)

  • Pingback: This is not Bikini Bottom | StyleBuzzStyleBuzz()

  • Shaelah

    While I absolutely love the cami and show-off-the-shoulders thing, and I agree it’s totally sexy: as a girl who definitely could not safely get away with going bra-less, (and has been blessed with Dad’s swimmer’s shoulders – thanks Dad) I’ve yet to find a way to translate this look to my wardrobe that’s elegant instead of inappropriately revealing and awkward…. Any ideas??

  • Aey…Look at her Pose..gorgeous :) so Lovely pics..Thanks for posting :)