Fifty Shades of Grey: Part 2

June 6, 2013 3

Let us ponder the problem of what the hell you wear when it’s raining. Not pyjamas. Sorry.


This past weekend in Sydney was miserable. Australian winters have a tendency for schizophrenia between breathtakingly crisp, clear days, and bone-chilling downpour. Perhaps a call from the Motherland – no Republic for you yet, Australia.

Usually, I’d take the opportunity to work from under my fluffy white pillow fortress  (translation: stare at photos of sunkissed and golden brown European Summers… just twenty-three days to go, Paris) or do a few hours at the studio – in case you hadn’t noticed, hashtag fashion doesn’t seem to do anything but filtered sunlight and sunny days by the pool. But, baby, this is the real life: blue-skied glorification free, and very much a wet weather battler. So, though a few looks short of my first installation, let me tell you: these two frames are probably the most difficult images I’ve ever shot. Think umbrella strapped to my tripod on the sidewalk, torrential rain, Melbourne-worthy winds and red noses on the rise – not the best first impression for my unsuspecting new 70-200mm.

I made up for it with undying attention. What a lens.*

Just as the art of non-basics, let us ponder the problem of what the hell you wear when it’s raining, aside from silk pyjamas because, of course, you’re calling in sick and staying in bed with a gallon of tea, the love of your life and a dog-eared Penguin classic (Sofia Coppola, make it happen). I will be the first to admit to hilariously impractical dressing, fueled by my recurrent inability to check the weather forecast, and prompting the most flattering sheen of rainwater and nervous sweat. It has taken me a royal two decades of existence to realise that all you need is a pair of rain boots. Just one. Carry your heels in your pocket if you must, but I would argue that the gloss finish on this pair of mine makes for perfectly acceptable boardroom footwear. If you lose as many umbrellas as I do, a well made and well treated leather jacket, it seems, will do the trick, so long as you wipe it down thoroughly that night. The rest of your ensemble, from here on, is unimportant – though I would not recommend any incarnation of white tee, polyester or silk. I have learnt the hard way.

No degree of friendship can abate the awkward.


Wear a real bra and layer up, ladies.

Look 1: Sportmax Ontano Sweater from MATCHES – YesStyle Leather Jacket – Cotton On Striped Tee – Bebe Sydney Leather Pants – Hunter Original Gloss Black Boots (also available at The ICONIC) – 3.1 Phillip Lim Pashli Messenger Bag from Shopbop – Morrissey Umbrella

Look 2: Lottie Hall Laser Biker JacketGlassons Tiger Sweater – Citizens of Humanity Denim Shirt – ASOS New Forever T-Shirt – Sara Berman Leather Pants from THE OUTNET – Nicole Fendel Journey Cuff

*The way I see it, the 70-200mm is a bit like a baby paparazzi lens (telephoto hotness) – which, when put to non-intrusive, non-invasive, non-illegal uses, can produce really beautiful depth of field without losing little details like, say, angry raindrops.

Nikon D600 and 70-200mm from digiDIRECT