I am, perhaps, a little late on the Instagram backlash - Zuckerberg, I'm still not impressed.
I am, perhaps, a little late on the Instagram backlash (Zuckerberg, I'm still not impressed), but I figured that a) I'd share some of my little square snaps before Zucks sells them to somebody and b) those of you who don't have Instagram (or don't follow me yet) might like to see some of my favourite shots from my time in Thailand with Zanita. So, without further ado, how to capture Phuket via Instagram:
#OMG - Flying into Phuket, seeing your first Thai sunrise, your first Tuk Tuk ride and that sweeping view of Cape Panwa from Sri Panwa's Baba Nest infinity pool are just as (if not more) significant as your firstborn. Enjoy a side serving of #IsThisTheRealLife. (Wearing Sabo Skirt dress)
#Brunch - Instagram's most important meal of the day. For those sweet 10 minutes of being at the top of somebody's Instagram Feed, you have Gossip Girl status and everyone wants to be in your chair. After that, we go back to being nobody. I'm cool with that. Ensure some form of symmetry and at least five colours in each shot. Nobody likes an average chow - clearly, the Pool Club breakfast is more than qualified in that respect... though I will admit that I gave my egg friend a mushroom mouth myself.
#BikiniTime - you publish these at your own peril. There appears to be an abundance of creepy bikini-seekers with iPhones and Androids who say things like 'sexy fingernails, lady' - oh I'm swooning. But if you're leaping out of your villa's private pool overlooking a dramatic bay, or shooting swimwear with Zanita at a three-storey luxury residence, you have every damn right to let people know about it. Because you're wearing a Lisa Marie Fernandez wetsuit. That is why.
#JungleFever - I spy with my little eye: a private beach through the lush Thai green and a happy KEM issara kid dancing around the resort to the staffers' amusement. Stevie Wonder is on repeat and South American drums are on the playlist. Wrong continent, Margaret. Whatever, Zuckerberg: it's just as green.
#Foodstagram - the idea here is to cram as much food into one photo as possible and tell the world that you're eating it all. In reality, Zanita and I couldn't even tackle the lot between us, but between cooking class with the best of Sri Panwa's kitchens, and perfect lunches between photoshooting, I'd say we bagged a pitch perfect culinary experience of Thai food. My tastebuds are still homesick...
#FromWhereIChill - the view from my bedroom window is usually a dead pine tree - not that mother of a mountain cloud. At breakfast, my face is usually attached to my computer screen - not a perfectly blue view in sight. I certainly don't have a sunset yoga platform over the water, nor fragrant tropical flowers at my door. I could get used to this tropical wonder.
#MAXLIFE - this is where you pinch yourself and switch off entirely. That this could possibly be 'work' is far too good to be true. I'd take coconutting in gowns, impossibly spicy hot pot lunch in bed, home made pad see euw and a boss breakfast any day.
#Sunsetgram - basically the reason Instagram was created. Right? Right. Ritualistic dances on the Cool Spa yoga platform are essential - almost as much as cocktails (or 'innocents') and good company. But not quite. The sunsets in Phuket were so completely different every single day that Zanita had to tear me from my iPad and camera to get me to appreciate it in all its glory.
And now, in my state of depression after trawling through these photos of mine, I return to the soulless embrace of my Contract Law Casebook. To console me, I suggest you hit follow on Instagram.