The first time I dared to wear what could have passed as a red onesie, I was freezing my face off during New York Fashion Week. Since then, I’ve worn these leg-curtains a grand total of three times (people start to notice when you repeat vermillion happy pants, you see). So, upon receiving this absolute eye-burning staple of a silk shirt, there was no questioning that the head-to-toe was to return – but much stronger. Like Voldemort. Initially I’d had it all tucked in, but my instincts (and brother) told me that I looked like every ABBA costume ever sewn, so I withdrew, reassessed, and returned as a red frog pyjama queen to make Valentino blush to his well-gelled hair. Though, I’m sure, Mr Valentino never intended his famous all-red to actually mean all-red off his runway and gangly models, I would argue that this second-favourite lipstick of mine (and maybe a few buttons undone) is the only thing stopping this ensemble from looking like sleepwear. And it should remain the only thing. No Brooke Shields blue eyeshadow. Please. Spare me.
I will admit that my recent and apparent penchant for what I’m going to call ‘humid’ hair (what do you mean you don’t know what I’m talking about?) and coconutty face has some (massive) part to play in that situation. At risk of you all judging me as an unkempt, unrefined lady, I say screw you – freaky Calvin Klein vibes circa 1990 are a winner regardless of the decade – perhaps H&M was inspired by that same soft tailoring for their upcoming Spring collection. You and I both, oh global chain store king… you and I both.
What do you all think? There’s something so much softer in a shirt than a blazer – had it been the latter, I would have looked like a 40-year-old races-goer, non? Perhaps without the hilarious headgear? And of course – I’m biased because of my 2012 love of onesies (exhibit A, B and C). Come New York winter again in February, I dare me to be head to toe in tweed.
And now, I’m going back to being windswept and sick of exams.