Short Shorties

November 20, 2012

Let’s talk about denim short shorts.

photos by Leïla Joy Berney

KJ by Kirrily Johnston Rib Cuff Blazer and Henley Tank – Atmos&Here Medicine Bag – Zanerobe Bay Shirt – Cloth Online Leather Shopper – Wrangler Hi Cheeky Shorts

For an exceptionally slow-moving Tuesday, I’ll raise a glass to wishing it were shorts weather for more than two hours at a time, dear Sydney. What am I talking about – two sleeps till Thailand, babies!

But let’s talk about shorts (because I’m in that kind of mood). I was never much of a denim shorts kid – if denim was required, I preferred pinafores and jumpsuits. At age 14, I had a brief jaunt with Lee Hi-Rise Cheekys, before abandoning them at the back of my closet where they’re probably still having a cry… sorry Cheekys – you’re just not for me. Then came a much slouchier Sportsgirl pair for my 15th birthday, but I was such an awkward twig in nerd specs at the time that I looked like I was actually from the 80s. Denim shorts and I amicably parted ways for several years. They, to evolve into butt-cheek baring denim diapers as made famous by Bondi (seriously ladies, put on some pants), and I, to drop my hemlines to far more comfortable boyfriend lengths and wide-legged pants. It wasn’t until this Somedays Lovin’ pair popped up on my radar that I decided to give them a second chance. That was last year.

So after that extensive reflection on my relationship with denim bottoms, I’ve come full circle – though I believe these Wranglers are a little less Cheeky than my past Lee affair. A little quartet of these snaps, that Leïla and I did a few weeks ago, are planted somehwere pages of the ICONIC’s freshly relaunched magazine, and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s all down to the styling (which isn’t a terribly groundbreaking conclusion, but don’t shoot the messenger). If you’re sporting an angry singlet, chances are you’ll look like you’re at a festival (as my Miss Sara eloquently put it). But step away from the top you cut up yourself, and consider the options:

  1. Dress like a lady: put together an ensemble that makes you look like a French librarian (think rib cuff blazers and ambiguously shaped bags), then replace your awkward midi skirt with those shorties et voilà – welcome to Australia.
  2. Dress like a man: find a hipster man friend, swap outfits, laugh at him, then appreciate how well the absolute enormity of his zigzag button up shirt balances out your bum-hug denim. Add a bag that you could probably fit your whole life into, and wear sneakers like a boss.

The verdict: give me an option, and I’ll pick leather shorts any day. Ever. But gun to my head, and denim ones aren’t the devil after all.

But denim diapers are. Denim diapers are still the devil.